Creating A Shadow

As a kid, and I am sure almost everyone has experienced this,
you are happy all the time for the most part. When I was younger, I was happy.
I laughed at the fancy free butterflies dancing carelessly in the wind outside on the patio,
I smiled at the ocean's roaring majesty at the local beach,
I happily sighed at every person that passed in my opposing direction
with love emanating through their stare.
Now, it seems that I can only reach that childlike euphoria when I sleep at night.
Away from the outside world, looming in my own dreams.
Comforted by the last sight of the moon's alluring beacon of light
that rests smoothly on my bedroom window sill.
Away from the push and pull effect that my unpredicted future creates in my present.
Away from my unforgiving past.
Just me.
Alone in a content state, wrapped like an embryo in my blanket.
Traveling across contrived lands only fathomed by me.
When my eyelids lock hold of the darkness, no one can judge me
and my suppressed primal emotion.
No phantom capable of haunting me.
Even in the regions of my most revolting nightmares, I am untouchable.
Happiness courts with safety when the night takes hold of me.
Unfortunately, as soon as the sun pries my eyes open and I plant my groggy self
firmly on the floor, standing away from my bed post,
a silent pain surges through my heart.

I face the fears, feared by many with the clock's good morning...